No one should be *that* happy at work...

This post has earned an I rating by the Destructors of this blog.

Yo, Prankstahs. Waaaz up?

We all have a coworker or two that is absurdly happy with their job. They always come in to the office with an annoying smile, a gag-inducing upbeat attitude, and a fake love for their work and their customers that the bosses somehow can't see through even though it's obvious to you and all of the real people with whom you work. To this coworker, no matter the obstacle at work, everything is just dandy.

But it's okay. I know that you don't really want to be working with this guy. Those of us that live on planet Earth are very aware that work is hard, that it can be frustrating, and that walking in with a smile and an attitude of "it's okay all the time" is impractical, cheesy, and fake. That's why we're going to turn your seemingly "perfect" coworker from this:

Into THIS:

How, you ask? Why, it's quite simple. Technology has made annoying people a much simpler task than it used to be. ThinkGeek.com has a brilliant product. See here:

It's a simple little thing, and it doesn't look like it could do much damage, but it works.

Just hide this little gizmo somewhere near or in your colleague's workplace. In can be under a phone, on the side of a desk, on the bottom of a trash can, behind a picture in his cubicle...anywhere you think he won't look. Every couple of minutes, the Annoy-A-Tron will let out a little *beep* that will soon drive your coworker absolutely nuts. His smug smile will disappear, his fake demeanor will vanish, and you, dear prankster, will finally rise up as the victor in your workplace. Your coworkers will hail you as a hero once you have driven this hated coworker insane.

If you don't want to order an Annoy-A-Tron, there are still plenty of ways to create havoc in your coworkers space. The basic idea remains the same---create a noise that will periodically go off that will drive your coworker insane. You could try something like the Alarm Clock From Hell post in the office, or buy a small cheap recording device from electronic stores, record a noise and leave the sound in your unsuspecting but very deserving coworker's space. You could record your voice saying "hello" in a creepy sultry voice and have that play periodically. That way you can drive your coworker nuts and make him paranoid. The possibilities are endless.

Go forth and prank.

~Jilliard

Miss Hilly's Special Pie

This post has earned an X rating by the Destructors of this blog. 

Greetings, Pranksters.

Have you ever seen The Help? If not, go watch it. Fo' reals. But in any case, there's a snippet of pranking brilliance in that movie.

See here:

And that's about it. Disgusting? Absolutely. Worth it if you hate someone? You bet.

Good luck, my pranksters.

~Jilliard

Ninja Class

This post has earned an I rating from the Destructors of this blog.

Greetings, prankster prodigies.

It has been quite some time since my last post. I'm afraid I have been busy pranking people and wreaking havoc. It's okay though---I'm back now and I have loads of ideas for you.

This idea is fairly simple, it won't get anyone arrested (unlike the marijuana post), it won't make anyone sick (see this post if that's your goal, though) and it can be done in good fun.

I attend a university in Utah. Sometimes, professors show things that are really boring. In any class you've ever been in, there's been at least one time where you've prayed that something entertaining would happen, right?

For example, it would be entertaining to have someone rush out of the room pretending to be Batman:

They could open their shirt, whip out their cape and sing their own theme music. It would be WONDERFUL. I do recommend that. However, that isn't very prank-like at all, now is it?

Behold this beautiful item:

It's called the "Ninja Remote Stealth Television Gadget and IR Jammer."

Allow me to elaborate on the possibilities.

You're sitting in class. Someone walks in that you find intensely attractive. You try your best to pay attention to the lecture but it's incredibly boring and you notice that the person you want to impress and eventually end up married to is also bored out of their mind. Everyone is just waiting for the class to END, but unfortunately you're only two minutes in.

Then you remember that you've been secretly trained as a ninja.

BAM!

You whip out your Ninja Remote and very sneakily change what the professor is doing. The power point slide freezes, the teacher is cursing, and you are getting your online dating profile up to show that person you can't stop thinking about. Just kidding... I don't actually recommend pulling up an online dating profile. That'll prove that you're the one messing with the class, and that's super desperate of you, man. Chill.

But think about it--you could pull up anything. Maybe a funny YouTube video, like this:

Or something embarrassing about your professor, like public court records. Or pull up humorous photos or slightly inappropriate eCards, or maybe just start an episode of The Big Bang Theory (I recommend Season 6, episode 10...it's one of my favorites).

Just be sure to be sneaky about it, at least so the professor or those annoying "good students" that hate fun won't know.

You never know, being awesome in class might get you hooked up. ;)

I think it'd be great.

Go forth and prank!

~Jilliard

The One Thing ALL Men Find Horrifying

This post has earned a P rating by the Destructors of this blog.

Oh, hey guys! It's been a while, and I'm sorry about the wait. Sometimes, life just happens and you can't worry too much about how to be mean to others.

Fortunately for all of you, and not-so-fortunate for your enemies, I once again have taken time to give you an idea. This idea is mostly geared toward male enemies, although women will find it gross as well. Ready? Here we go.

Mr. Mackey, from South Park, said, "I don't trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die."

I think this can pretty much sum up the attitude of most men. Any time something comes up about tampons, pads, or something bloody in the nether regions, men cringe.

Hence this prank idea. Here are the steps for Operation Cringe:

1. Identify your enemy.

2. Find your enemy's window.

3. Wait until it's dark and you won't be caught.

4. Go buy some cheap tampons, string, and tomato sauce/paste.

5. Open the tampons and apply the tomato sauce as desired.

6. Tie the tampons to the string, like Christmas tree lights (yes, I just said Christmas. If you're offended, too bad. Deal with it.)

7. Sneak to the previously identified enemy's window.

8. Decorate the string of tampons on/above/around the window as desired.

9. Slather remaining tomato sauce/paste onto the rest of the window.

10. Listen for screams of horror to come in the morning, and smile at a job well done.

It's brilliant, and disgusting. Hehehe. Not only will it cause your enemy to gag; it will also give them something gross to clean up! Talk about killing two pigs with one bird...or, uh, killing two birds with one stone.

Good luck to you, fellow pranksters. It'll be epic.

-Jilliard

The image used in this post is from lifeinthefastlane.ca

Dear Nerd From Hell...

This post has earned a P rating by the destructors of this blog.

Why, hello there frustrated persons of the world.

Do you know someone who is incredibly nerdy and overwhelmingly obnoxious about it? Someone who will save their comic books before you in the case of a fire or other disaster?

Yeah. Me too.

Now, don't get me wrong; I like nerds. Overall, I'm a nerd, too. But in a life-or-death situation, I'll save most human beings before a mint action figure.

Okay, probably all human beings. Probably.

Ahem.

The point is, those excessively nerdy people need to be taught a lesson sometimes, right?

Right. :)

So, this idea is from the first season of "Big Bang Theory":

Penny: Okay, here's the deal: you either help me throw Leonard a birthday party, or so help me God I will go into your bedroom and un-bag all your most valuable, mint condition comic books and on one of them, you won't know which, I'll draw a tiny happy face in ink.

Sheldon: You can't do that. If you make a mark in a mint comic book, it's no longer mint.

Penny: Sheldon, do you understand the concept of blackmail?

Sheldon: Of course I---oh.

Oh, Big Bang Theory. :) :) :)

Anyway.

I think you get the basic idea. Destroy or somehow harm the nerd's valuable, nerdy items. It will be great....for you. Keep in mind that a lot of these things probably *are* very valuable, so be sure you're ready to deal with possible repercussions when you draw on mint comic books, destroy action figures, break nerdy DVDs/BluRays, decimate classic movie props, vandalize old movie posters, cancel their subscriptions to certain "smart" magazines, draw mustaches on their superhero shirts, or do anything else you might cleverly come up with.

Also, please keep in mind that most nerds are smart. They could potentially get you back in a way that will suck A LOT for you.

Don't let the possibility of retribution force you to leave the hellish nerd prankless. Just think of it this way: if their comic books (or whatever) are no longer valuable, they'll save you instead of their toys. Assuming they're not still angry at you, of course.

Have fun!

-Jilliard

The image used in this post is from shupes.net

Mustached Miscreants

This post has earned an N rating by the Destructors of this blog.

As I'm sure you've well noticed, Jilliard has been the only actively posting Destructor. "Why is this?" you may ask. While I cannot make an acceptable excuse for Wendykins and Emybemy, I can attempt to make one for myself. But I'll get to that later.

Now. The N-rated prank. First, I think I shall disclose that this particular trick has indeed been played on a nearby apartment and has indeed been proven as not serious. It is definitely something that you can laugh over - the pranker and the prankee(s) - at a later date. If you are a male and don't mind keeping the evidence, this may take a little longer. And I can assure you that your facial hair won't look nearly as spectacular as mine did.

Items you will need:
black or brown eyeliner (this can be borrowed from older sisters, cousins, mothers or can be purchased in the cosmetic section of your local Walmart)
a camera
any wanted/needed props
a way in

What your way in might be varies. My particular "way in" was the fact that the door was left open by the inhabitants. Any wanted/needed props is just that - if you are interested in making somewhat of a mess (emptied contents of a shredder) or in decorating for a party (banners, balloons, cake, candles [be careful with those], lights, music, etc.) then you will need to provide it yourself. But I do not think this would be counted as a prank if you actually did something nice to the prankee(s).

So. What to do? Simple. Disguise yourself! (What do you think the eyeliner is for?) Gather your props, if using. Make sure someone has a camera - it works much better than a video recorder because that can be traced by voice - for documentation. And then ... get in.

While inside, you may want to take pictures of yourself raiding their refrigerator, sitting on their sofa, watching their movies, reading their books, Google-ing on their laptops, and so forth. If you brought props use them! Decorate their floors and beds and dresser drawers with the contents of the shredder. Paint pictures and tape them to the walls. Hide a selection of utensils and/or cooking items in the bathroom, living room, bedroom closets, refrigerator and freezer. Get creative. (Remember, this is only an N.)

As always, have fun with it. That means smiling. (:

Good luck to you miscreants!

Tyler Wil

P.S. I nearly forgot to post my attempted excuse. It is a rather extravagant story, but I will sum it up shortly. I was away for a time, practicing pranks of all levels, most of which were failures. This one however was an utter success. For proof, click here.

Well, I didn't *know* you'd be arrested...

This post has earned an X rating by the Destructors of this blog.

Greetings, fellow miscreants.

Everyone knows someone who thinks they're better than everyone else. I could go on and on about how these people drive everyone absolutely insane, but I'll just sum up:

THESE. PEOPLE. SUCK.

Since these morons are obsessed with upholding their image so they can retain the illusion that they are better than everyone else, why not thoroughly decimate their reputation? Make their "holier than thou" delusions crash and burn.

Burn is the key word, there.

Behold, the marijuana leaf. * Yes, my friends. Having this will get you arrested in a hurry. But the point isn't to get YOU arrested, is it? No. It's to get a certain stuck-up person you hate in a lot of trouble (like, I dunno...having police show up and haul them to jail?) and destroying their egotistical, idiotic view of themselves.

If this despised person has a garden, maybe you should just slip some "happy plants" in there one day, and then call the police and give an anonymous tip, complaining about an interesting smell coming from such and such a house...

Or you could just be all sneaky, and strategically place things around their home. You could just drop by to sing the praises of this "awesome" person, and while they're being all flattered, put things all around that will destroy them! Muahaha. Call the police from a pay phone and give an anonymous tip, and there you have it.

Seriously. Few things can destroy a person's reputation more than being arrested and publicly humiliated. It'd be awesome.

Now, I do have to say that this could backfire and get you in some really BIG trouble. So make sure you really hate this person before you do this to them.

Now go my prankster prodigies. Good luck, and don't get arrested!!!

-Jilliard

*HUGE DISCLAIMER: I do not in ANY way endorse growing, smoking, distributing, or really having anything at all to do with this (or any) illegal substance. I'm simply presenting an idea about something awful to do to someone you despise. That is all.

The photo from this post is from howthingswork.com