Dear Nerd From Hell...

This post has earned a P rating by the destructors of this blog.

Why, hello there frustrated persons of the world.

Do you know someone who is incredibly nerdy and overwhelmingly obnoxious about it? Someone who will save their comic books before you in the case of a fire or other disaster?

Yeah. Me too.

Now, don't get me wrong; I like nerds. Overall, I'm a nerd, too. But in a life-or-death situation, I'll save most human beings before a mint action figure.

Okay, probably all human beings. Probably.

Ahem.

The point is, those excessively nerdy people need to be taught a lesson sometimes, right?

Right. :)

So, this idea is from the first season of "Big Bang Theory":

Penny: Okay, here's the deal: you either help me throw Leonard a birthday party, or so help me God I will go into your bedroom and un-bag all your most valuable, mint condition comic books and on one of them, you won't know which, I'll draw a tiny happy face in ink.

Sheldon: You can't do that. If you make a mark in a mint comic book, it's no longer mint.

Penny: Sheldon, do you understand the concept of blackmail?

Sheldon: Of course I---oh.

Oh, Big Bang Theory. :) :) :)

Anyway.

I think you get the basic idea. Destroy or somehow harm the nerd's valuable, nerdy items. It will be great....for you. Keep in mind that a lot of these things probably *are* very valuable, so be sure you're ready to deal with possible repercussions when you draw on mint comic books, destroy action figures, break nerdy DVDs/BluRays, decimate classic movie props, vandalize old movie posters, cancel their subscriptions to certain "smart" magazines, draw mustaches on their superhero shirts, or do anything else you might cleverly come up with.

Also, please keep in mind that most nerds are smart. They could potentially get you back in a way that will suck A LOT for you.

Don't let the possibility of retribution force you to leave the hellish nerd prankless. Just think of it this way: if their comic books (or whatever) are no longer valuable, they'll save you instead of their toys. Assuming they're not still angry at you, of course.

Have fun!

-Jilliard

The image used in this post is from shupes.net